


Evil 101

by urami



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Light-Hearted, Not So Evil Kylo Ren, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 21:24:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5800669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urami/pseuds/urami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a prompt on tfa-kink. While at the Jedi Academy, Ben Solo can no longer resist the pull of the Dark Side, but learns the best way to achieve the goals of spreading anger and hatred is through being as annoying as possible. After all, people don't hate when they're dead!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Evil 101

**Author's Note:**

> One day I will write something that isn't utterly ridiculous. Today is not that day. 
> 
> Ben/Kylo is around 13 or 14 here- let's say he finally turned evil a little older than it's implied he did in canon.

It was always there, in the back of his mind- the softly whispered words of what he truly could be, if only he would just do what the quiet voices told him to do. He could be great, he could be a feared leader, he could finally get the recognition he deserved. His parents would _have_ to pay attention to him then! He wouldn’t be weak like his mother and father, he would be strong, powerful, respected, like his grandfather.  
  
And oh, young Ben Solo so desperately wanted to give into the voice. It was like a constant itch he couldn’t scratch, an annoying tickle in his throat that coughing wouldn’t relieve. It was tempting- so tempting. But the things the voice wanted him to do were just so… drastic. Kill his uncle. Slaughter the other students. Burn down the academy. Blow up the entire planet. Torture his father, and make his mother watch. While Ben admitted that the ideas had merit- certainly everyone would pay attention to him then- a part of him balked at the orders. He didn’t want to kill anyone, not really. In the future it might be necessary, but his classmates? His relatives? His sort-of friends? Even if he didn’t really get along with his parents he wasn’t sure he wanted to cause that much pain for them.  
  
Contemplating his light saber, Ben grit his teeth. If it would make that stupid voice in the back of his head shut up, he would do it. Tomorrow morning, when everyone was getting ready to go to class, he’d do it. He’d kill every last one of them. The voice in the back of his head told him to remember every cruel thing his classmates had ever said about him, how hurtful it was when they’d excluded him from their games or passed notes behind him. It told him to remember how humiliated he’d been when Iaa Dotoke in the cohort above him had pretended she’d liked him only to have a laugh later with her friends about how stupid Ben Solo thought she’d _actually_ been interested in him.  
  
_Good, good, use your hate. Kill her first, then her friends will finally see what they should have seen all along. That girl would have been **lucky** to have you like her back!_  
  
“Yes…” Ben muttered under his breath.  
  
_And think about all of them who called you skinny and weird-looking with huge ears. Wouldn’t it feel good to see them suffer?_  
  
“It would,” Ben said in response to the voice in his head, caressing his light saber.  
  
_Where does that one kid get off calling you weird-looking anyway? He has tentacles! And that girl has cat ears and a tail. At least you look like a normal human, right? You’d really be doing the galaxy a favor, nobody would have to put up with their pointless insults anymore, or look at their ugly mugs._  
  
Tomorrow. He’d do it tomorrow.  
  
“DON’T DO IT!” a completely different voice shouted. Aloud. This time, Ben jumped. Where did that come from? Had someone overheard his thoughts? He thought he’d been shielding them, but it was possible he could have dropped them accidentally. And that would be terrible, especially in a school full of mind-readers. The last thing he needed was someone overhearing what he’d been planning and telling his uncle. Then his uncle would put him in confinement, take away his saber, and contact his parents. He didn’t think he could bear it, his mother’s disappointment and his father’s comments about him being just like his psychopathic grandfather.  
  
“I can hear that, you know.”  
  
“Uwaah!” Ben shrieked aloud, scrabbling backwards on his bedding when a translucent, glowing man bearing a striking resemblance to him materialized in front of him. The spirit seemed a bit put out.  
  
“You know, I really only turned evil because I didn’t want your grandmother to die, although it didn’t work out very well considering I was the one that ended up killing her. Still, ‘psychopathic?’ That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?”  
  
“Grandfather? Darth Vader?” Ben asked, his eyes going wide.  
  
“I prefer Anakin these days, but yes,” the spirit said. “You’ve grown so much… you’re turning into a powerful Jedi, and like all powerful Jedi, you’re being seduced by the Dark Side. That’s why I’m here.”  
  
“You want me to join the Dark Side?” Ben asked. Anakin shrugged.  
  
“It’s not up to me, that’s your decision. But I could sense that you’re conflicted, so I came here to talk to you. I cannot make your choices for you, but if you want some advice, mass murder isn’t the best way to go spreading the Dark Side. I tried that, and it cost me the love of my life and the chance to see my children grow up, and to meet my grandson as a living being. And being dead, you get some insight into how people work. You see, killing everyone only instills fear and anger for a few moments, then they can channel their energy into fighting back, destroying you. The best way to represent the Dark Side is to be as annoying as possible.”  
  
“Be annoying?” Ben asked. Anakin nodded.  
  
“That low-level anger can take hold of the person and fester, eating away at their controls. If you really want to undermine the Light, that is what you will do.”  
  
“But what about the voice telling me to kill everyone?” Ben asked.  
  
“A voice?” Anakin asked.  
  
“Yes, I hear it in the back of my head, it tells me that in order to become strong like you I need to kill everyone in this academy and torture my parents,” Ben answered. Anakin looked concerned, his brow furrowing.  
  
“I once heard something like that too,” he said slowly. “Ultimately, following its orders made me turn back to the Light. If you truly want to be Dark, you’ll ignore it and follow my advice.”  
  
Ben thought for a moment. What his grandfather was saying made sense- if he killed everyone, how would they be angry and resentful? But annoying them… that would make a much better field for the seeds of the Dark Side to be planted in.  
  
“I will do as you instruct, Grandfather.”  
  
“Good boy,” Anakin’s ghost said, patting Ben on the head. “Your grandmother sends her regards- she and I are both very proud of you.” With that, the spirit faded away, leaving Ben alone once again, with a new plan formulating in his head.  
  
And, for once, Ben’s mind was clear of that insidious voice. 

* * *

Ben got almost no sleep that night- he stayed up late coming up with the most obnoxious things he could in order to spread Darkness and Evil all across the galaxy. He had some good ideas, too- all it took was remembering some of the stupider fights his parents had gotten into before they sent him to train as a Jedi. As much as he hated the idea of copying his father, Ben had to admit that the man’s sheer incompetence when it came to anything household-chore related was a great source of inspiration.  
  
The next morning, Ben awoke before anyone else, grabbed a red sock out of his drawers, and snuck down to the laundry room. The laundry droid beeped cheerfully at him, and Ben patted it gently on the head.  
  
“Don’t tell anyone, okay? It’s a secret,” he told it. The droid toodled in understanding, and rolled out of the way so that Ben could pass. Digging through the pile of white robes waiting to be washed, he slipped the red sock in where he was sure it wouldn’t be noticed by any humans until it was too late. His father had done this once, accidentally washed a red sock with some white bedding and turned everything pink. His mother had been _furious_ and told him to leave the wash to the droids in the future, since clearly he couldn’t be trusted to sort the colors out properly.  
  
Cackling evilly, Ben hurried out of the laundry, hoping to make it to the eating area before anyone else so he could carry out the next stage of his plan.  
  
The droid simply watched him go. Organics were _weird_. But eh, he didn’t have much company down here, and if an organic wanted to come visit, who was he to deny it?  
  
Ben’s next stop was the kitchens. Just as he had planned, they were completely empty. Which gave him enough time to switch the labels on some of the containers of salt and sugar, and to unscrew the tops on others. When everyone came down for breakfast, some people would be getting salt on their morning gruel rather than sugar, and others would end up with the entire container of seasoning on their food. There was nothing more annoying than that. The school food was already terrible, and “accidentally” over-seasoning it would only make it worse. Having to get more would take time out of the morning when everyone was already sleepy and cranky before going to study. It was perfect!  
  
By this time, a few half-asleep students were starting to trickle into the kitchens, so Ben quietly slipped out. It was time for him to head over to the class buildings to carry out the next part of his plan. Making sure to ignore the “Keep Off The Grass” sign, Ben took a shortcut across the lawn.  
  
Once he got into the school buildings, his first stop was the meditation room. Master Luke always made sure to keep the cushions neatly stored, in the order of the colors of the rainbow- he always said it helped the Force flow. Ben had always thought that sounded ridiculous, so he took extra pleasure in making sure the colors were all out of order before he scattered them all around the room. Truthfully, it gave the room a sort of messy-chic, cozy look, like one could actually focus there without their mind being distracted by how stark and uncomfortable it was. Laughing like a madman, he hurried out of there once the place was sufficiently a mess.  
  
The next stop on his quest was the lecture hall. Luckily for him, someone had left the chalk in front of the chalkboard. This was the perfect opportunity to introduce the world to the newest prodigy of the Dark Side- no self-respecting Sith went by their given name, especially if it was something as anticlimactic as Ben. Who’d be scared of a guy named Darth Ben? And of course he hadn’t told anybody what his new identity was, so it wasn’t like he would get into trouble for it.  
  
Picking up the chalk, Ben stood on the tips of his toes to get the most clearance from the ground- although halfway through writing he realized he could have just used the Force. Oh well. Once he was done, the chalkboard read, in huge letters, **KYLO REN WAS HERE** Good, good. Confusing, _and_ slightly ominous. It would unnerve everyone who saw it. They would spend the rest of the day wondering who Kylo Ren was, and if he was capable of this, what else was he capable of?  
  
Before he moved on, he kicked the trash bin over for good measure. Somebody who wasn’t him was going to have to clean it up!

* * *

By that afternoon, the school was in chaos. Anyone who hadn’t done their washing the week before suddenly found themselves with a bright pink robe for their clothes, and breakfast that morning had been utterly disgusting. Somehow, the tops of the sugar containers had fallen off when someone tried to dispense some sweetener into their porridge, or if that didn’t happen, someone had switched the labels on the salt and sugar. There were huge muddy tracks across the green expanse of the lawn- someone had clearly ignored the signs about staying off of the grass. The meditation room was a mess. Someone, this Kylo Ren character, had doodled all over the chalkboard, scribbled rude words on the desks, and signed his name proudly. Everyone supposed that this guy was the same person who’d caused such trouble all over the campus, and kicked over the trash bins.  
  
And of course, the students could talk of nothing but the incidents. “Who would do this? It’s so mean!” Iaa Dotoke complained to her friends. “And it’s so childish! We’re supposed to be better than that!”  
  
“Seriously,” the tentacled boy replied, frowning and clasping two of his appendages over his chest. “And I look stupid in pink!”  
  
“That might have actually be an accident,” someone else said. “But with everything else that happened… it’s so inconvenient, Master Luke is making everyone clean up. It wasn’t our fault!”  
  
Leaning back, but being careful to show no sign of satisfaction, Ben was cackling internally. He could feel everyone’s rage and frustration, their disgruntlement and confusion. And it was glorious. It was like slipping into a nice warm bath after being out in the cold, or taking a cool drink of water after running laps on a hot day. He could feel his peers’ emotions whirling around him, and he took them in like a sponge, feeling his own internal power grow. The Dark Side really was more efficient than the Light. His grandfather really knew best!  
  
Elsewhere, watching the whole scene play out, Padme Amidala smiled at her husband. “Good job, it worked.”  
  
“You sound surprised,” Anakin laughed. “Of course it worked! We were the ones who came up with it, after all!” Padme shook her head.  
  
I’m just relieved his path will be different,” she said, sighing. “If only you’d had the same advice.”  
The End

**Author's Note:**

> Gyaah, why am I always so terrible at ending things?! 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


End file.
